Who is worthy of a PhD?
I hear this question all the time: “I am defending next week, and I don’t know if my work is good enough for a PhD”
I used to respond to these questions with stories from myself and the students whom I have worked with: “Yes, it’s normal to feel that your work isn’t good enough. But, if your committee approved it for a defense, then it is!” (In the US, a PhD defense is a formality, and it is very rare for students to “fail” it).
Now I know that the question “Is my work good enough for a PhD” goes much deeper than the Dissertation itself.
When you question your worthiness to get a PhD, it reflects you doubts about whether you are worthy of a PhD-level life.
Are you smart enough to be a professor and have your own graduate students? Do you have what it takes to be a PhD-level researcher in industry and mentor junior scientists?
I remember driving back from an industry interview feeling terrified, because the job involved supervising a small group of junior scientists, some of the older than me. (I did get the job, and it was a learning experience, but that’s besides the point.)
My doubts before my defense and after my job interview had nothing to do with my Dissertation or the job. It was all about me, and my feelings around my worthiness.
In 1:1 coaching, when we shed light on a student feeling unworthy of a PhD, there are usually other details such as childhood trauma, disability, or past mistakes.
Remember: self-doubt does not mean that you are not worthy of a PhD.
Although I don’t know you, your story, or your hardships, I can tell you this:
My students have been able to overcome perceived feelings of unworthiness very quickly (almost in a heartbeat).
How did they do it? More importantly, how can you do it?
Overcome Feelings of Unworthiness Around a PhD in a Heartbeat
I started working with Nora (not her real name), just 4 weeks before an interview for a tenure-track position at a very prestigious university.
She had a million reasons for thinking she would not get the job.
Here is the story of Nora #1 (before we started working together):
- Only 1 publication
- She had limited expertise in that subject matter (her expertise was in a related sub-field)
- She made “mistakes” in graduate school that cost her an entire year
- She was working on an additional publication from her PhD, but she hadn’t made progress on it for a year
- She was in an industry post-doc position, and was unlikely to publish a paper.
In summary, not enough expertise and not many publications. Why even apply for a tenure-track position?
During the 4 weeks we worked together (which was only 1 session per week with a few email check-ins), her whole concept of her worthiness was transformed.
Nora was able to reframe every “disadvantage” into an “advantage”.
Here is Nora #2:
- She had 1 in-depth publication, instead a series of shallow papers
- Her expertise in her sub-field was an asset to the department because they didn’t have anyone with that expertise. She could always obtain expertise in any additional sub-field when she got the job
- The lessons she learned from her “mistakes” would make her an even better mentor for other graduate students
- Her second publication was in “progress” and she created a timeline for submitting it.
- Her unique experience from an industry post-doc gave her an advantage over other candidates who were trained only in academia.
Would you hire Nora #1 for a tenure-track position? Probably not.
Would you hire Nora #2 for a tenure-track position? In a heart-beat! Not only did Nora get the job, but the university gave her husband a job an offer for a tenure-track position as well, to make the offer even more enticing for Nora.
This transformation sounds almost miraculous for someone who thought a mistake must have been made when she got invited for an interview.
What changed in the 4 weeks between Nora#1 and Nora #2? The only actions she took were 1) creating a job talk , 2) writing up a timeline for submitting her second publication, and 3) practicing her job talk with her PhD advisor.
Nora’s success was due to her perception of worthiness for the job, rather than her actual experience.
Although this was many years ago, I still remember Nora’s biggest wound. She felt so guilty that she wasted an entire year in graduate school due to “mistakes”. I could hear her pain across the phone.
“Nora,” I said gently. “Don’t you think that the “mistakes” you made will make you en even better mentor for your own graduate students? As someone who made many “mistakes”, wouldn’t you be able to help them more than someone who “sailed” through graduate school without any mistakes?” (I don’t think anyone like that exists).
There was silence for a few moments.
I could feel Nora’s energy shift, even though I didn’t see her and she wasn’t saying anything.
Finally, I could hear relief in her voice when she replied: “Yes, I suppose that would make me a better mentor.”
You see, Nora was passionate about teaching. She had made plans for educational outreach programs if she were hired.
Once Nora’s perception shifted about whether she would be a good enough mentor and educator, she felt worthy of the job.
She was able to reframe all her disadvantages into advantages, and show why she was the best person for the job.
The hiring committee was impressed, and the rest is history.
You might believe that you are in a unique situation. Perhaps you are too old, too young, with children, or about to have children.
When you feel passionate about something, you can turn any disadvantage into an advantage.
One of my other students was told by the hiring to not even apply for an academic position because she was too old (late 50’s). Besides the fact that this was probably illegal to say, my student applied, and used the same process that Nora did above to show the committee why her unique expertise and background made her the perfect candidate for the job. She even used her age as an advantage, by emphasizing that she would be a better mentor for the older students in the department. This student also got the job out of 200 applicants!
I hope I have convinced that whatever disadvantage you think is holding you back from a job or finishing your PhD, is primarily a perception of your worthiness.
Once you feel worthy of that next opportunity, the details fall into place.
You can even use this process to finish whatever is in front of you, whether it’s a section of your Dissertation or a PowerPoint presentation. Yes, you are worthy of writing your Dissertation, of giving a talk, and publishing papers.
Once you see your own worth, opportunities will open up to you.