“My husband was at the pharmacy to pick up an antacid for me, but I then felt a kick from inside my belly,” Liz told me in a hushed voice over a tall glass of icy mango smoothie at the back table of our local ice cream shop. “I called him immediately and told him to get me a pregnancy test instead. Sure enough, I am more than 5 months along already.”
Liz had been balancing her thesis research and motherhood since the birth of her daughter 10 months earlier.
She had only planned to have one child in graduate school because she did not think she would have enough time to finish her thesis while raising two small children.
However, her second pregnancy came as a surprise, and she only found out about it 4 months before giving birth.
“I never lost the extra weight from my first pregnancy, and I was so busy with work and taking care of my daughter that I did not realize I was pregnant until more than half-way through.”
With the help of her husband and daycare, Liz was able to work 40-50 hour weeks, like she had before giving birth to her first baby.
However, once her second baby was born she had to cut back on her hours to save on day-care costs.
Liz’s supervisor was a parent as well, and she did not expect Liz to work 10-12 hour days as a Mom of two – as long as she got her work done.
Liz was in the experimental sciences and she could only collect data while she was at work.
However, she planned to do her reading and writing at home after she picked up her children from daycare.
It was not easy to complete her research while attending to the needs of two very young children, but by focusing on “getting her work done” instead of “hours at work” Liz was able to continue working on her thesis and finish it in a reasonable amount of time.
Having a baby (or two or three) is not the only reasons students decide to work fewer hours.
Working long hours can have a negative affect on your health and personal relationships as well.
Unfortunately, you may only realize this when it is almost too late.
Some students suffer from stress-related health condition that forces them to work less, or their friends and family complain about not being able to spend enough time together.
When you decide to work fewer hours for any of the above reasons, you may initially feel guilty about “being at work less.”
Perhaps your boss or your peers will think you are slacking off if you are not “seen enough.”
The reality is that what matters are your results (publishable work, finished thesis), not your hours at work.
If you work 20 hour days but you don’t produce anything tangible that you can present at your meetings, your committee will not grant you a graduate degree.
The irony is that we live in a culture where being busy (i.e. working long hours) isrespected, yet working too much can lead to health and relationship problems that can actually hinder your progress.
You may wonder whether you should tell your supervisor if you decide to work fewer hours because of health or family reasons, and if you do, how to bring it up during a conversation.
Keep in mind that your supervisor is primarily interested in results that can be published or included in grant applications in funding.
Thus, if you need to reduce your work hours, put your focus on how to achieve your desired results (i.e. data for grant applications, publications, and your thesis) instead of how to convince your supervisor to let you work fewer hours.
Most supervisors are too preoccupied with their own work (teaching, committee meetings, grant writings) to keep track of your hours and it may not be necessary to tell them if you spend less time at work as long as you make progress.
If your supervisor does watch how many hours you work, and you are concerned about their reaction to you “being around less”, the conversation will be easier if you focus on the results you need to achieve instead of your personal issues (which your supervisordoesn’t want to hear anyway).
Whether or not you decide to change your work hours, it is essential that you are clear about the results you need to achieve in order to be allowed to graduate.
Due to the uncertain nature of research, you may not know exactly what you need to do to graduate.
Your goals may change depending on data you collect and the resources that your group has access to.
But, in order to make progress you need to have short-term and long-term goals.
On the short-term, you need to be clear what you need to do this week or this month to move your thesis forward.
What literature do you need to review, what reports do you need to write, or what data do you need to collect in the next 1-4 weeks?
On the long-term, you need to have an approximate graduation date, and a broad thesis topic or area, even if you do not know what your thesis question or hypothesis will be be.
Being clear on your milestones (results you want to achieve) and timelines (by when you need to achieve them), will be help you to be more efficient at work, and turn your work hours into tangible progress.
After you decide your milestones (desired results) and timelines, make sure that your thesis supervisor agrees with them.
Your thesis supervisor need your results sooner for a grant proposal or a publication, or they might need more data and suggest additional milestones.
If you want to graduate by a certain date, it is esential that you dicuss what milestones you must achieve in order to be allowed to graduate by then.
You may also need your committee’s input if your supervisor is hesitant about your graduation requirements.
Either way, be persistent until you know what milestones you need to reach in order to move your thesis forward.
Once you agree on the milestones and timelines, it will be easier to get your supervisor’s approval on new work hours if you are looking cut back for personal reasons.
In fact, some supervisors will approve shorter workweeks for students who are in long-distance marriages, as long as they make up for the missed hours during the rest of the week.
Finally, if you take time off for vacation, let your supervisor know in advance so he or she can plan accordingly if they need data or a report from you.
If you need to reduce your work hours, you need to be extra efficient during the day.
You must have absolute clarity about what you have to achieve each day in order to make tangible progress.
The best way to boost your productivity is to plan your day’s priorities in advance.
Don’t leave work without knowing what your top 1-3 priorities are for the next day.
If you come to work in the morning without a priority list, you will instinctively start your day by checking email, and spend your hours reacting to your environment rather than taking control of your thesis.
Instead, shift your work days to be proactive, and start by working on the highest priority item on your list.
Being a full-time parent and student a the same time does not mean that you cannot take time off.
In fact, taking care of your physical and mental health are especially important if you need to produce high quality work and take care of your family as well.
However, when your schedule is so busy, you cannot leave exercise and recreation up to chance.
You must schedule your off-time in advance otherwise your days will be filled by reacting to the needs of others – your thesis supervisor, colleagues, and your family.
The best way to make sure that you get regular exercise is to block out time in your calendar for it, preferably at the same time everyday.
Many gyms have childcare services and make it easy for parents to get a workout, while their children are take care of by the staff.
If going to the gym is inconvenient or expensive, there are apps for your smart phone that have full-body workouts in as little as 10 minutes.
Whichever option you choose, keep in mind that the time you spend exercising is a worthwhile investment that will help you to improve your focus and stabilize your mood at home and at work.
Similarly, if you want to spend time with your friends, it is best to plan in advance.
As a busy graduate student (and possibly a parent) you may not be able to go out on a minute’s notice.
However, if you have a regular schedule (e.g. go out with friends every Friday night), it will be easier to plan your work and find backup care for your children.
Before I became a parent, I could not understand how parents were able to balance their work with their family responsibilities.
I thought that working 12 hour days was necessary to get your work done and write your thesis and publications.
As several of my classmates became parents I realized how efficient they became once their children were born.
They chose how to spend their time very deliberately, and said “No” to most side-projects or social events so they could leave by 5 to pick up their children from daycare.
Whether or not you are a parent, you can adopt a similar mindset if you want to cut back on work hours and still be productive.
Are you having trouble saying “No” to friends because you may hurt their feelings?
It is actually in your interest and your friends if you are honest with them about your commitments and only say “yes” to events you want to attend.
In addition to invitations from friends, and interruptions by coworkers and your supervisor, the Internet includes an infinite number of distractions.
How do you resist the tempatation to check email and social media?
If you choose your priorities the day before and you come to work with absolute clarity on what you need to do to make progress, email and social media will be much easier to resist.
Newly married students and parents have found a way to resist these distractions out of necessity – but you can also choose to stay focused throughout the day and reduce your work hours without sacrificing your progress.
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