Why Smart Students Struggle in Graduate School and What You Can Do About It

Graduate School: My Rite of Passage to the World of PhD’s

It was my second year in graduate school.

I couldn’t believe how nervous I was, and no matter how slowly I tried to breathe my hands were shaking and I felt like I lost my voice.

I was sitting (or trying to sit) in my department’s office to be called in for the oral part of my qualifying exam.

I knew that in the previous year they failed 20% of the students, and I had studied for nearly 2 months for this exam.

What will my family think of me if I didn’t pass?

They had made so many sacrifices so that I could go to a PhD program in the US, that I could not imagine telling them that I was kicked out of my program.

The kind administrative assistant in the office sensed my anxiety, and asked if she could help in any way.

“Oh no,” I replied. ” I am just nervous because I am worried that they will ask me questions that I don’t know.”

Her face got very serious and she said:

“I hate to break this to you, but they will definitely ask you questions that you cannot answer.

They will find out your area of weakness and grill you on it.”

Was this supposed to make me feel better?

“But don’t worry. They do it to everyone. It is their rite of passage to toughen you up. Just because you don’t know every answer, it doesn’t mean they will fail you.”

“My advice is that if you don’t know the answer just admit it – don’t make it up,” she continued.

“They will do their best to embarrass you, but you don’t have to take it personally.”

I finally let out a big sigh, feeling a 1000 lbs. lighter than just a few minutes earlier.

I then heard my name and I knew it was my turn.

After an hour of grilling, I came out exhausted.

They really did know how to find my weak spots, and kept asking me questions in those areas.

They didn’t tell me whether I passed I or not, but it didn’t matter.

It was over, and I knew that I did my best.

(The next day they announced that everyone in my cohort had passed.)

The brief conversation I had with the administrative assistant on the day

 of my qualifying exam had a profound impact on me for the rest of graduate school.

I understood that graduate school was meant to challenge me, and all the frustrations (and embarrassments) were part of the process to becoming a PhD.

You are in Graduate School to Learn, Not to Look Smart

While everyone in my class passed the qualifying exams, the time to graduation varied from 5 to 8 years.

The student who took 8 years to finish graduate school was at the top of our class while we were taking courses

Yet, she struggled in her research and ended up with one dead-end project after another.

Why did one of the smartest students (as measured by our GPA’s) take the longest to finish her PhD?

The main reason that she took so long to finish was that she hesitated to ask for help from her supervisor when she got stuck.

She was so used to getting high grades that she worried about what others would think of her if she admitted that she “failed.”

For years this bright student struggled with the Impostor Syndrome, which led to lo

 

wer self-esteem and performance. 

While she took the longest time to graduate, I believe all of us were guilty to some extent to trying to look smart instead of learning.

Learning and trying to look smart, are practically opposites.

When you focus on learning, you ask questions and in the process you admit that you don’t know something or that you need help.

If you are preoccupied with looking smart because you are worried about what others think of you, you are getting in the way of your learning process.

You will be reluctant to ask questions and reach out for help, and this can cost you an extra 6-12 months in graduate school.

Do You Have a Fixed or a Growth Mindset?

Carol Dweck, a professor in psychology at Stanford University, showed that people’s success depends more on their beliefs about intelligence rather than their innate intelligence.

People with a “fixed” mindset believe that their intelligence and skills are traits that cannot be changed.

On the other hands, those with a “growth” mindset believe that their abilities can improve with training.

If you have a fixed mindset, graduate school will be a struggle no matter how intelligent you are, because you will see your failures as character flaws in yourself rather than opportunities for learning.

A growth mindset, however, will empower you to recover quickly from setbacks, learn from your mistakes, and become more productive.

According to Dweck, your mindset may stem from your upbringing.

Dweck and her colleagues conducted a study with hundreds of children to investigate the effect of praise on performance.

After an easy IQ test, children were praised in one of two ways for their high scores: 1) their intelligence “You must be really smart” or 2)  their effort “You must have worked really hard.”

Afterwards, the children were asked to do a second test and were given the option of doing a similar test, or one that was more challenging.

While the difference in the way they were praised was subtle, children who were praised for their effort were three times as likely to choose the harder test in comparison with the children who were praised for their intelligence. 

The children were then given a very difficult test that was beyond their skill level.

Those who were praised for their efforts, worked harder on the test and enjoyed the process, while children who were praised for being smart gave up early and became frustrated.

The most interesting part of the study  was a fourth test, which was similar to the first easy test.

Children who were praised for being smart scored lower than in the first test, and those who were praised for their efforts scored higher than the first time. 

Dweck explained that children who were praised for being smart, assumed that others admired them for their intelligence and they did not want to disprove their evaluation.

You may recognize that you have a fixed mindset.

If your parents and teachers praised you for being smart, they probably had the best intentions in encouraging you.

Can you change your mindset as a graduate student? Absolutely!

You can transition from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset simply by becoming aware of how you react to setbacks. 

In order to grow, you must stretch and challenge yourself, and making mistakes is a natural part of the process of learning

The next time you make a mistake you have the choice of interpreting it as 1) a sign that you are not cut our for graduate school, or 2) an opportunity for growth.

The first choice will lead to unnecessary frustration,  while the second choice will encourage you to take on more challenges and become successful in the long run.

Why Graduate School is Invaluable to Develop a Growth Mindset

Graduate school may be grueling, and it is a small wonder that about 50% of PhD students drop out.

In addition to the challenges inherent to completing a graduate degree, many students consider leaving because of the uncertainty of their careers after completing their PhD.

Is it worth finishing graduate school if your chances of landing a professorship are about 3%?

You may be disappointed to realize that your best chance of finding employment is outside academia (and perhaps outside your field).

However, graduate school offers numerous opportunities to pick up skills that are marketable in any career path:

Reason #1: Your writing skills will improve tremendously

In order to become a PhD candidate in the first place, you need a good grasp of how to write.

Going all the way and finishing your degree will push your skills to the next level, and put you in an elite category of writers.

Most people will never even attempt to write something as ambitious as a PhD dissertation, let alone finish it.

Compiling years of research—and hundreds of pages of notes—into a cohesive thesis takes organization, talent, and most of all, diligence.

Once you’ve completed your PhD degree you’ll be an expert at one of the hardest parts of the writing process: sitting down and getting started, day after day after day.

I haven’t even mentioned the numerous papers you’ll write, or co-write.

Even if you don’t pursue a career in academia, you’ll still be grateful for your wealth of writing experience.

In fact, in non-academic fields, your writing skills will give you even more of a competitive edge.

If there’s one thing my years of writing have taught me, it’s this: when it comes to writing, your brain is like a muscle.

It gets stronger the more you exercise it; and the more you push yourself to think about a piece and then write it out, the easier it becomes.

Even in highly-skilled professions, basic writing skills are increasingly rare.

According to a study from CollegeBoard, blue-chip businesses spend over $3 billion every year on remedial writing training for their employees.

For an employer who’s searched high and low for good writers to hire, a doctorate signals that you’re a sound investment.

Reason #2: You’ll have better interpersonal skills

As a PhD candidate, you know that the stereotype of the grad student, working alone in a lab or in front of a computer, is only a small part of the story.

The most successful graduate students are those who learn to work effectively as part of a team.

Working alongside professors or peers in grad school requires unique interpersonal skills, which are different from typical cooperation.

Academics tend to be independent-minded and ambitious thinkers.

Plus, collaborations in grad school are often focused on extremely complex and difficult projects.

In addition, completing a PhD degree requires building lasting professional relationships with mentors, including your advisor.

You will also need to learn to navigate bureaucracy in order to access the resources you need.

No matter what your field, these are all skills that will give you a head start in achieving your career goals.

Reason#3: You’ll have the self-confidence that comes with knowing you stuck with your degree, instead of quitting

If your confidence is faltering in grad school, you’re not alone.

According to a 2014 piece in Forbes magazine, as much as 70% of the American population has struggled with “imposter syndrome” at some point in their lives.

This is particularly true with people on the path of higher education, since academia attracts people who do a lot of thinking, and have high expectations for themselves.

For graduate students, the question of how to craft their own self-esteem is essential.

To psychologists, the answer to this question is clear: self-esteem comes from personal and professional achievement.

Researchers have analyzed what gives people a lasting sense of satisfaction with their abilities.

Instead of high self-esteem leading to high achievement, study after study indicates that the opposite is true.

According to an article in Psychology Today, describing thousands of self-esteem studies, nothing gives people self-confidence like setting goals, working towards them, and then achieving them.

As a Wall Street Journal article puts it, “high self-esteem is the result of good performance.”

As anyone who is getting their PhD degree knows, the path to earning a doctorate takes a lot of both labor and time.

However, while it takes effort, it’s all in service of the field you’re most passionate about.

Once you’ve finished your PhD, you will have accomplished something that only a small percent of the population have.

You’ll have earned the respect of your colleagues and peers, and done it while distinguishing yourself academically.

By receiving the title of doctor, you will earn self-confidence in the most meaningful way.

Are you feeling alone and looking for a community & accountability to finish writing your Dissertation?

Having accountability through a community of other PhD students is one of the best ways to become and stay motivated until you finish writing your Dissertation.

 

Dora Farkas, PhD

View Comments

  • What I learned is that administrative assistants know more of what goes on in higher education than most faculty ...:)))

    • Hi Colleen, the administrative assistants are an integral part of the PhD process - if you can show them a little bit of appreciation it will go a long way. In fact, our administrators played a big part in helping my friend graduate after 8 years.

  • Hey Dora, This is such a great article. Thanks! I am currently preparing for my qualifying exams, and they have been making me nervous for months. I even had health issues because of the stress that I have been experiencing - which did nothing but slowing me down even more! I feel like you are totally right, and those who are perceived as "successful students" often have the hardest time because of the expectations imposed upon them and the mindset involved. Do you have any advice on qualifying exams preparation? Managing a huge amount of sources is discouraging and overwhelming...

    • Hi Jane, I am glad you enjoyed this article. My recommendation for preparing for qualifiers is to create a schedule for yourself where you break down all the major areas you need to prepare for. My class formed study groups where we reviewed the most important material, and I believe that is why all of us passed. So, if you have one or more study partners to help you set up a schedule and meet regularly to discuss what areas to study it will help a lot. Best wishes!

  • I can`t say that I was raised with a fixed mindset , but it is something that I took upon on myself gradually. There are a number of reasons for this . I studied Economics for my undergrad and masters and then changed my discipline for PhD - I chose to do Gender and Women`s studies. This was not as cut and dried a discipline like Economics to me , but at the same I found it to be no less challenging due to its extreme interdisciplinary nature. People in Gender and Women`s studies situate themselves differently according to their ideological, political and feminist positionalities and not to mention due to their western vs. non-western stances regarding women and their situation around the globe. Also, English being my second language ( until my high-school I went all the way in a different language - Bangla) for quite long I struggled to articulate myself well in English; I internalized the idea that I am not good enough to be in this program. Thankfully, despite this , I have written my first thesis draft consisting of eight chapters and currently revising it as per my committee`s comments. I happened to come across Dora`s website sometimes in March of this year and since then it has been a life changer to me ! Dora has enabled me to rise beyond my fixed mindset; now, I know for sure that I will finish my PhD. This is one of the very important techniques that I have recently learned from Dora ; I am currently using this technique as I am revising my thesis and have made considerable progress so far: For every chapter , at first I lay out clearly in just one sentence of the specific purpose of the chapter and then decide the purpose of each section of the chapter accordingly. This way, having a clear idea about exactly what message I want to convey in a chapter and then to proceed accordingly makes life so much easier ! I can cut a lot of unnecessary portion of the thesis and just shed light on the things that are clearly relevant to the purpose of my thesis chapters. Especially for those of us who are doing Phds in Humanities or social sciences clarity of expression could be an issue given we play with language so much that often there exists a good chance that we would be making a simple thing unnecessarily complicated and then confuse ourselves and our audience. This simple but incredibly useful technique has been a game changer to me , indeed! Thank you soo soo much Dora ! Will be looking forward to receive your next inspirational message! Have a great weekend!

    • Hi Abhar, Wow, I am so inspired by your message. Your commitment and motivation are really paying off - I know you will finish your thesis with so much confidence and discipline. Keep up the awesome work, and I look forward to your comments on my upcoming articles :)

  • Yet again, Dora has captured exactly what is going on inside my head. I struggle a lot with imposter syndrome. I worked prior to starting graduate school and was very sucussful in my previous lab. Now, I feel like I have something to prove. I feel like I need to publish a high impact paper immediately (mind you, I'm a first year) and be "perfect" at everything. I feel as though graduate school shouldn't be challenging and I should be able to master everything easily. As a result, each time I hit a roadblock, I automatically think that this is proof of my inadequacy.
    I know these beliefs are not only unrealistic but counterproductive. Right now, I am working on changing these thoughts but it's really difficult.

    • Hi Nadaline, Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. Just being aware of having an imposter syndrome will help to relieve the pressure that you are feeling. My recommendation is to modify one belief at a time - if you feel inadequate, you can focus on what you did do, instead of the mistakes you made. Over time this will increase your confidence. Keep up the great work ;)

  • Thank you for this! Throughout my undergrad (Canadian) I had a nagging feeling that every good grade was a fluke and that when I got praised for good grades by profs all I needed to do was slip and get a bad grade and they wouldn't like me anymore. When I started grad school, I had totally pure motivations of being a good university instructor someday and sharing my love of literature. Unfortunately, I feel worse than ever. I feel so much pressure to get perfect grades that it's crippling. I'm constantly trying to work on my mindset, but it's really difficult feeling like your worth is based on an unrealistic version of yourself. No matter how much work I put into my studies--even when I get good grades--I feel like I've failed and should have done better. It's good to know that it is a real thing, not just me being petty about grades.

    • Hi Emily, thank you for sharing your story! You are definitely in good company. Academia is so competitive that it's tough to feel like you are successful. But the more you internalize your success, the less pressure you will feel :)

      • Thanks, Dora! Despite having really fabulous and supportive professors throughout both my degrees, you're right, academia can be a kicker and feel a bit like a no-win. Thanks again for the advice and your terrific post :)

  • Thank you for sharing this post! I am a first year graduate student and have grown up being told I was "smart" and when a task was too difficult I have been frustrated! This is great insight and so encouraging. I have failed an exam with a professor I really want to think well of me. I resonate with Emily on a lot of what she said! I felt like my grades in undergrad were all a fluke and determined how my professors viewed me.
    I've been feeling trapped by the pressure of research and classes, to the point I feel paralyzed...posts like this help me to refocus and reframe my thought process.

    • As soon as I read that you felt "paralyzed," I connected with what you are saying. I feel like I'm stuck in quicksand! The research has me stuck the most. It seems that every piece of research I read leads me down another rabbit hole. I swear I'm going to wake up and say, "Well that was sure a bad dream" and be happy I woke up from it - except that this is my WAKING LIFE!

  • Hi Dora, thanks for the article.
    What is the #1 thing that is holding me back from finishing my thesis?
    I can say it is my advisor's bad temper. I know I'm not the best student he had, but I don't really need to be the best, the aim is to be good enough to finish. Sometimes I do my work slowly, but I do it, and I like the process. But my advisor has this terrible habit to yell at me at least once a week. Like really loud. And without reason. At first I thought that I needed to work harder, and I did until I found myself burned out deep in depression. After two meetings with psychologist I understood, that his anger is not connected to my success of failures. He's just a tough person. But still this doesn't make things better. He probably thinks that my productivity should burst after he yells and humiliates. But there's an opposite effect. Yesterday he yelled something like "you don't do anything, you run out of time, you should sit in the lab day and night and on weekends too". It was not true - I have two years until my programm finishes and two months until next conference and I know I can acomplish everything on time, I have a plan of experiments, all the procedures work, it just takes time to obtain results, it can't be done in an instant. It was said (shouted) in inappropriate way. I tried to stay calm (it didn't really worked) and said that he shouldn't yell at me like this. Still, in the evening I ended up crying under the blanket. And this happens all the time. When he yells, I lose any motivation to continue my work. Not because I think he's right (he is not), but just because it hurts me to listen inadequate insults. This can prevent me from working for a long time. And everytime he yells I feel like run away from the lab and never meet him again. I tried to talk to him, but all he says is just "this is my style of teaching, I'm old and you'll never change me". Going to another lab is not an option for me. I already put so much effort to my work here.
    I decided to write to our university international students office, maybe they can help me somehow. And then probably I will talk to other faculty members about his behaviour. I only am afraid that if he knows I'm complaining to someone else, he will mistreat me even more.
    Do you have any suggestions for the situation?

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