Why Is Finishing Your Dissertation Seem Out of Reach For You?
You have been in graduate school for so so so long.
You have seen students start and finish their PhDs.
But, the more you hear about the success of others the more anxious you feel.
You know that it is supposed to inspire you that others were able to finish. But no matter how hard you try it doesn’t seem like this PhD thing is going to happen for you. “I am just not meant to get a PhD,” you think.
Eventually you lose your motivation to get a PhD but you hang in there anyway.
This cycle can go on for years and you feel totally stuck.
If only someone were to give you an answer. Should you quit your PhD?
The end does not seem to be in sight. You have invested too much to quit, and you don’t want to disappoint everyone who helped you along the way. What will they think? What will happen to your self-esteem when you quit something that you have been working on for so long?
“Will someone just give me an answer, please?”
I have been asked this question for so long. I do not know you, but I know your pain of having your Dissertation hand over you. Not only from my experience, but from the experience of the thousands of PhD students who have been reading my articles since 2010.
In this article I will share with you what I have taught to PhD students, and learned from them, so you can move onto the next step of your life.
Why Finishing Your Dissertation Can Seem Out of Reach For You
#1: Things are not what they seem
On the outside the other PhD students seem to have it together.
It seems like things just come to them easily. They seem smarter than you. Their advisors are more supportive. Or, they are just the kind of people who would get a PhD
The problem is that there is so much mystery surrounding the process of getting a PhD that a fundamental truth about the process is frequently ignored:
Getting a PhD is meant to be hard.
The reason that a PhD is so prestigious is that it is not easy to get. It takes years of dedication – even for those students who make it seem easy.
The first step is to let go of the idea that some people are meant to get a PhD and others aren’t. Due to circumstances it may be easier for some to finish their Dissertations.
But, to get a PhD, everyone needs to put in work.
#2: You keep beating yourself up
Our culture encourages one to beat themselves up, and in academia it can be even more severe.
It can seem like a good thing to say mean things about yourself: “I should’ve worked more” or “I feel so bad for taking Saturday off” or “I should know more by now.”
Maybe your professors tell you things like that, or maybe your parents did.
Those voices are still in your head, and they sound like the voice of authority.
That voice is not authority. It is the voice of fear. We all have it. If it wasn’t your parents saying those things, it would sound like the voice of another authority figure like a teacher (we have all had a teacher who was very critical, after all).
What can you do?
Accept your situation as is.
You need to embrace and see your situation as is. Not better and not worse.
Wherever you are in your Dissertation writing is where you are.
You need to make plans for your writing and research based on wherever you are right now.
Once you accept where you are, and make plans accordingly, it is much easier to make progress.
#3: You are afraid of the next step
Besides the Dissertation writing process, the other thing that has a lot of mystery surrounding it is the PhD level job search.
What will you do once you have your PhD?
Should you start looking for a job now or when you finish your Dissertation?
This dilemma is the other reason that you’re stuck.
You don’t know whether to look for a job first or finish your PhD first.
I have known many people who were in this space of never-land for years.
Not being quite ready to finish their PhDs (the motivation to finish just wasn’t there), and they also didn’t feel ready to look for a job.
Then, a job offer appeared.
It may have been accidental like running into a person by chance which led to a follow-up phone call and an informal ob offer.
Or maybe, reluctantly at the urging of their families, they started applying for jobs. And by surprise, they actually got an offer (showing that they actually have more talent than they gave themselves credit for).
What happened after the job offer was nothing short of miraculous.
All of a sudden they felt motivated to write, and they finished their Dissertations in a few weeks. Maybe they even got a publication out of it.
Their sudden motivation to write wasn’t because they knew more.
It was because the next step in their future was illuminated and they decided to move towards it.
You don’t need a job offer to be able to move towards the next step in your future. All you need to do is take baby steps in that direction.
It can be as simple as having calls with people who can give you advice about applying to jobs. Or, you can apply for jobs, or ask someone to help you to put your resume together.
Most importantly, take actions and visualize yourself moving towards that next step in your career.
#4: You feel like you have to do it all by yourself
This one can be dangerous.
When you feel like you cannot ask for help while finishing your Dissertation, you can be stuck for a very long time.
When you don’t ask for help, you don’t get the feedback that you need to move forward. Instead, what happens is that you feel more and more stuck every day.
The reason for this belief is that there is still a school of thought that says that if you need help to get a PhD you shouldn’t get a PhD.
It is true that there are PhD who got through graduate school with very little guidance. But they are the exception. Most students get guidance. Without guidance, how are you supposed to get through your PhD? it is a novel area of research that you’re supposed to be working on.
Professors are paid to mentor you to finish your PhD.
Finishing a Dissertation is about meeting the requirements of your Dissertation committee. How will you know what the requirements are if no one tells you?
You must have input from others to know what direction you are going in. Otherwise you are just going towards a black hole.
When you take all of this into account it is no wonder that you feel like a PhD cannot happen for you. It is because you are moving further and further from being able to focus on your Dissertation!
When you are working by yourself, without a clear endpoint, the negative voices become too loud for you to hear your own intuition.
Sometimes the voice of reason comes from another student, who is going through a similar situation as you are. Or, from being part of a group of like-minded students who are all positive that somehow, they can get through the Dissertation writing process.