Lisa called her husband in tears.
After six months of writing, her research proposal had finally been approved.
Yet, she still couldn’t shake the impostor syndrome: the nagging feeling that she wasn’t good enough for her graduate program.
Crafting her proposal had been a torturous process.
Lisa and her committee had gone back and forth with comments.
She tried her best to satisfy all of her committee’s requirements, but no matter what, they kept finding gaps in her proposal.
What’s more, they didn’t always agree on how she could improve.
As the “expert on her topic,” Lisa was supposed to pull all of their comments together, into an exciting and feasible research proposal.
But during each committee meeting Lisa felt like they were tearing her down.
She wasn’t sure if her thesis committee was on her side, or if they even wanted her to graduate. She was in her fifth year already.
How could she have made it this far, and still feel so inadequate for graduate school?
The Impostor Syndrome is all too common in a competitive academic environment like Lisa’s.
Fifty percent of her classmates had already dropped out of the program because they felt hopeless about graduating, and most were too ashamed to talk about their challenges with anyone.
Lisa’s classmates felt like impostors in a school where all the other students had everything together.
They isolated themselves from their classmates, and they also avoided conversations about their theses with their friends and family members who “didn’t understand what it took to finish a thesis.”
Without the support or perspective they needed, it’s no wonder they never graduated.
Like many of her classmates, Lisa was falling prey to some pernicious myths that plague graduate students.
If you’re a graduate student or PhD candidate, chances are you’ve been fooled by some of the same misconceptions too.
Let’s debunk the five myths that can crush the confidence of any graduate student.
When you have the Impostor Syndrome, you live in fear that one day someone will discover that you are not as smart as they thought.
Perhaps you looked good on paper, but they made a mistake when they admitted you, and deep down you feel like a fraud.
The Impostor Syndrome is a “state of mind”, and is not correlated with your achievements.
If you have limiting beliefs such as:
you probably have some version of the Impostor Syndrome and this held you back from achieving your full potential.
In addition to limiting beliefs that you are not “good enough”, the Impostor Syndrome is also accompanied by self-doubt, low self-esteem and lack of motivation.
While these feelings are very real (and may have been with you for years), they are limiting beliefs and not the truth.
The only truth is the story that you tell yourself and how you interpret your experience in graduate school.
You have the choice of interpreting a dead-end project as an indicator that you are “inadequate” or make an objective assessment that the project is not worth your time and move on.
It’s easy to feel isolated as a graduate student.
When you’re diving deep into your own research topic, you can lose sight of all your peers who are facing similar challenges.
However, isolation will only feed stress, and create a vicious cycle of even more isolation and stress.
In this case, a little perspective goes a long way.
Sharing your feelings with other people who’ve been through the same process, and listening to their experiences, can help you feel less lonely.
Set aside some regular time for coffee dates with someone you trust.
Talk to other students or recent graduates.
You’ll find that each thesis presents its own unique challenges, and that your peers are likely feeling the same way you are at this stage.
You don’t even have to seek out a support network within your own program, or area of study. Many of the challenges of completing a graduate degree are similar across different disciplines.
This is the hallmark of impostor syndrome: You feel fundamentally inadequate, and it seems inevitable that everyone else will feel that way about you too.
However, this is the stress talking, not reality.
Think back on when you applied to graduate school, the effort you put into your undergrad degree, and the hard work it took to even be admitted to your graduate program in the first place.
Candidates are only accepted to these programs after very careful selection.
If you’ve made it this far, that means you’ve already demonstrated your abilities, time and time again.
By definition, you are “smart enough” to be there.
No matter how hard you work, there is always room for improvement.
That’s not a sign of failure; in fact, it’s just the opposite.
Even the most accomplished academics still run into obstacles or dead ends in their research.
That doesn’t mean you aren’t a “good” student, or that you aren’t putting effort into your research, it just means you have a chance to learn from your experiences.
Receiving critiques from your advisor or thesis committee is a normal part of the process.
These people have a responsibility to help you make your thesis the best it can be, and feedback is a necessary part of that process.
Don’t let criticism discourage you.
Instead, use it as an opportunity to learn and improve.
There will be times when it seems like your topic or your research is simply not up to the standards of your field.
However, a thesis doesn’t have to be Nobel-Prize-winning work to succeed.
Rather, the purpose of your graduate studies is to make a unique contribution to your field, and for you to learn how to be an independent researcher.
Graduate school is supposed to be the beginning of your career, not the culmination of it.
At some point, most scholars will doubt the validity or the quality of their work.
In fact, this is a must for every good researcher, and an indicator that you’re on the right track.
But to tell yourself your work “just isn’t good enough” is defeatist and draining.
Instead, channel your energy towards the aspects of your research you love, or are most excited about, to get back on track.
As graduate students or PhD candidates, we tend to hold ourselves to a very high standard.
In the midst of all your hard work, you may occasionally stop to take stock, and feel as if you’ve accomplished very little.
No matter what your field of study is, graduate research is never a straightforward, linear process.
Progress comes in leaps, and can happen when you don’t expect it.
Mistakes and failures are still indicators of progress, and something everyone grapples with in their research.
Look back on your entire career as a graduate student.
If you are behind (even WAY behind) it is probably because you spent so much mental energy on wondering whether you were “good enough” to be in graduate school that you had no energy left to make progress.
The next time you sense any limiting belief passing through your mind (or if someone tries to plant a limiting belief in your mind), simply view it for what it is – a belief and nothing more.
And if you still have doubts, take a walk – I know that you will see your accomplishments and progress from a new perspective, and will get new insights that will help you stay motivated and continue to make progress.
Many PhDs who are now successful in academia or industry admit to doubting whether they would ever get their PhDs.
I have seen students who have made “leaps of progress” by remembering these two simple concepts.
Once they recognized that the “Impostor Syndrome” was a belief, students went from doubting that they would ever finish to having the confidence to:
Pretty cool, right?
You have probably heard that the Impostor Syndrome is common among graduate students.
But, how can you be an impostor if everyone else feels the same way?
This may sound crazy (but certainly worth a try), try to embrace the feeling like you are not good enough.
After all, if you knew everything that you were supposed to, what would be the point of going to graduate school?
Being critiqued is part of the academic experience.
You don’t have to let Impostor Syndrome drain your confidence and energy.
Reframe critique as “constructive feedback” and focus on what you need to do to get to the finish line.
If you still feel overwhelmed by the work you have left to do, remember that many graduates do a significant portion of their research and writing in the final three to six months of their studies.
It is tempting to get carried away by feelings of frustration, but the more you can focus on what you need to do to finish, the quicker the puzzle pieces of your thesis will fall into place.
In fact, the sooner you let go of the myths that graduate students tell themselves, the sooner you can stop beating yourself up, and finish your thesis.
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All of these apply to me. But if I had to pick one that stands out, it's Myth #4. I constantly carry the feeling that my peers' projects are more "sophisticated" or impressive than my own. That mine is too simplistic. Sometimes I'm not sure who's my biggest critic--myself or my committee. For me, it's very difficult to not take the barrage of criticisms from advisors personally. Isn't there a line between critiquing someone's work and insulting them?
You hear all kinds of stories about people who drop out of their program out of despair and frustration. Now I have a clear understanding of why they dropped out. The entire process makes you feel so small and inadequate. It's hard to feel inspired about your work/project when you get the feeling that your advisors think you're incompetent. I'm just about finished with the program, and look forward to finally being *done*. This article offers wonderful advice. But Grad school was a living nightmare for me. I feel like these psychological scars would take time to heal.
Hi there Orion, thank you for sharing your story. I understand the deep scars that graduate school can leave. You ask a great question about critiquing and insulting. The main difference is whether the comment is about your or the work. For example: "This data analysis is confusing" would be a critique of the work, and I would ask clarification of how to make the data analysis more clear. On the other hand: "You do a very poor job at data analysis" is aimed directly at you. This is an unprofessional way for a professor to give feedback. In this case, I would still ask for clarification on how to improve the work, but if they continuously criticize you (instead of critiquing the research), then I would have a conversation with the committee member about alternate ways of communicating that are more hepful. I have more articles on this topic at: https://finishyourthesis.com/category/communication-with-supervisor/
Best wishes on your thesis!
Hi Dora,
I first wrote to you last year a short while after Ramadan. I have had a hectic year where I completed the first draft of my thesis. I once suffered from all of the above, now I suffer from Myth #1. My thesis adviser rejected my thesis proposals with limited comments approximately 5 times. The proposal that was accepted was an edited version to a submission I made to a symposium. Basically, a written call for papers was more successful in getting me to write than my advisers comments throughout 3 years.
After my proposal was accepted, I did not follow up with my thesis adviser or do the back and forth which students are recommended to do. Since I knew my advisers comments would tear me apart and not help my thesis process, I read everything I could find on my topic and wrote draft upon draft. I edited based on what I thought my adviser would say.
I wrote my thesis in two weeks after all of this preparation. I received my adviser's comments after the May graduation deadline and now I have this month to work the edits into my draft and present my thesis. As I predicted, my adviser was happy with the product. Yet, I do not see how this "advising" as opposed to "critiquing". I was unable to feel the positive influence of having a relationship with a professor.
The reason I suffer from Myth #1 is because after all of this work, my adviser's comments are still incoherent. I'm going to go ahead and hypothesize what they mean again, I'm going to make it up as I go based on what I've read again. Moreover, there aren't any other professor's in my program who could have helped this process. My only conclusion is that I must have been accepted to fill some diversity quota.
I've suffered a death in the family, my city has been attacked by terrorists multiple times (we've lost roughly 1,500 people nationwide to terror since last year June) while my adviser in Boston has not once asked me how I felt. I cannot treat this person as more than a binary speaking computer at this point.
I've really tried to think positively about this experience, focusing on how it will help me in the future. As such, I enlisted the help of professors from my undergraduate institution and had conversations with them on my thesis instead of conversations with professors from my graduate institution.
I don't want to continue to do a phd after this because of the experiences that I've written about here. I feel like academia is a circle where egos battle more than a village coming together to create social change.
I would really appreciate if you could let me know how you feel about what I have written.
Thanks for these great blog posts.
Hi Sefika, I remember your previous post, great to hear from you! I am sorry to hear that you had such a tough year and your supervisor is not supportive. It must have been very difficult to work on your thesis while dealing with these challenges. Remember that when your supervisor is tough on you it is not because your work isn't good enough - sometimes they just want to "toughen you up". Just to clarify, did you just finish your Masters or PhD thesis?
Hi Dora, Thank you for your response. I do hope my adviser's motivations have a positive reason like "toughening me up". This is my masters thesis that has taken 3 years now.
That's the brilliant advise. My PhD proposal is still with Higher Degree Committee for approval next month then if it passes then I will be a full PhD candidate....however, I am not a person who believe in failure since I was young! I think my grandmother taught me a write thing ..." if you aim on something which please you and its your passion, go for it". But sometimes, I found that may be am not good at particular area...but I never loose my focus! I hope my PhD candidacy will be ...... ( I don't know yet :) )
Augustome, thanks for reaching out! Congrats on your persistence, and staying focused on being a PhD candidate. Best wishes and keep in touch :)